Public Apology to My Husband...

Well, you might be wondering why the heck I would be writing an open apology to my husband today....and if you are here, then you will quickly find out why...

It all started about two and a half weeks ago when I my husband got this great idea to paint my office... He asked me if I wanted to paint my office blue... I politely suggested that I design something myself in black and white.. something like the image below.

At the time, I was searching on Pinterest, but I have NO idea where this image came from... For some reason, I saved the image, but did not re-pin it and two weeks is WAY too long ago for me to remember. So, here it is, but please do not credit me for this image... it is very nice, but not mine at all.... I will be looking for the link after I write this post..haha

 We moved everything out of the office and he only had to wait for me to move my desk out... YEAH RIGHT!! haha

In order to sand down the walls and prep everything, my computer equipment has to be completely out of the office... fast forward two weeks, and all of my large office furniture is STILL scattered in the hall outside of my office and my living room... The kids were actually using my stuff to hide under after watching a scary movie and determined to play the hide and seek clap game.... I refused... it was too creepy for me, but the hubs joined right in..

My son; however, keeps making the screeching sound from one of the movies from our scare-a-thon movie night we had and it is creepy... He comes up behind me and makes this sound.....
Don't cha just LOVE it!!??  No more scary movies... And I know you are probably thinking that I am crazy... which I might be, but that is a completely different topic. The reason we chose The Grudge 3 or whatever the last one was.... was because it was FREE on Netflix AND... it does not have nudity or hookers getting chopped up. I can't stand the new level of violence and murder in shows and movies now!! Much of it is just gross, but even worse than that, there is no regard for human life whatsoever!!  That is also another topic that I will not discuss at this moment... Anyway, where was I? Oh yes.... The MESS that is mine and the painting project... So, fast forward two weeks again and all of my large office furniture is STILL scattered around the house (I apologize for the redundancy, but it was absolutely necessary to get you all (ME) back on track). My husband is probably going to have to threaten me at gunpoint to get me to take my computer stuff out of the office.. and with a mask on, because if he were to walk in here with a gun to tell me that my life depended on me shutting down my computer, then I would probably laugh at him... But this is not even why I need to apologize... While moving furniture, he accidentally broke my scale in our bathroom. It is a glass scale, so using it to slide a bookshelf was probably not the best idea on his part.... bigons.. I did not want to purchase a new scale because we have been dirt poor the last couple of months. I barely make enough to pay the bills, but I am so blessed that we are staying above water for now.  If it weren't for Teachers Pay Teachers and all of your support, I do not think we would have made it at all this month...When the winter hits, our HVAC business comes to a halt and if the summer was not that great, then we have to start buying Top Ramon noodles and cereal to live off of... Funny side story.... My kids are all excited about Christmas and they insisted on reciting their lists to us again last night... just to make us feel bad I guess.... I sat them both down and told them that we really couldn't afford to buy presents this year (which we really can't). They both looked at me, paused for about 10 seconds and then continued with their lists....as though they had not heard us.... I then asked them if they had heard what I had just told them and they both said yes. Well, Gotta love the kids for hoping for a Christmas miracle..  Back on track...  I decided to wait to purchase a new scale, but the horror of not knowing my weight makes me want to make that noise from the video clip above... truly.  Last week, I did some extra coding and ordered a new scale... it was only $30.00 with Amazon Prime!! Great deal.... I got the scale yesterday and opened it up like it was Christmas morning. I even let the kids join in.... seeing that they would probably be sorely disappointed Christmas morning... It was nice, but if I had known that it would transform me into a wildebeest, then maybe I would not have opened it so quickly...  I set it up in the bathroom and weighed myself... to my horror, I realized that I had steadily put on 10 pounds every year for three years now and I just about dropped dead. Everyone wanted to try it, but in my fragile state of mind I begin to transform into something un-recognizable!! My hair straightened and turned black, my face turned white, and I began to make that noise from the clip above....   I told everyone to get out and I literally sat in my closet, stared at my designer clothes that no longer fit me...and cried... Maybe if I hadn't started  wearing yoga pants,  all this would not  have happened!!! 
Even worse, I decided to nag my husband about something completely unrelated..just to take out how disappointed I was feeling with myself, on him...  I sat there for a while working myself towards recovery and thought out a complete plan to get back on track and back in the clothes. I refuse to buy new clothes, so I have been living in my three pairs of expensive yoga pants for the last year.... Now to the apology... Dear husband, I am apologizing to you now for what I might do or say to you over the next couple of weeks. I am going to get back on track with a healthy diet and I might experience carb withdrawal, which will most certainly NOT be pretty. I will need to be treated like a drug addict who is detoxing and I will need you to be gentle with me if I happen to "sleepwalk" to the refrigerator and end up with the jug of Vanilla ice cream in my hand. Please accept this apology as you might need to come back and read it a few more times before the week is over.... Sincerely, Me.. So, in three years, I went from weighing 117 to... well, add 30 pounds - you can do the math! Don't make me write it out loud - it's bad enough I see it on the scale!! I am writing it here because maybe it will help me with accountability if I promise to give you an update on the 17th of January... AND... no more yoga pants!!!  That is, as soon as I can fit into my jeans again!!